How I Read [Between the Lines in] On-Line Dating Profiles

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Published on: 28February2017

Not sure if guys have a difficult time reading between the lines, but maybe it is the author of her profile who may not realize what some of us see when we read her dating profile.  So, maybe a little perspective from the other side is in order.

First, let’s talk about the statement “I’m not looking for a hook-up.”  If you’re on Match or eHarmony, that goes w/o saying. If you’re on Tinder or PoF, that’s a load of crap.  Now, it’s been pointed out to me that if you don’t have a credit card, you cannot join Match.  So, are you willing to date a guy w/o a credit card? (remember, before you answer, did you select income range preferences of your potential mate?)

Next, let’s keep that previous comment in mind while we look at your preferred age range of your match.  Let’s pretend you’re a 45-year-old woman and the age range of the guy you seek to find for a long-term relationship is 32-48; you are looking for a hook-up.  And, before you go calling me on male chauvinism, be sure to know I have no problem with women dating men younger than them.  My issue is combining the low age with the expectations of a mature, long-term relationship.  If you can & want to play with a boy-toy, more power to ya. But, be honest. And, just join Adult Friend Finder.

Third, you say you “don’t have any drama” and/or “don’t want anyone with drama.”  I have to say, respectively, bullshit and good luck.  EVERYONE has drama.  Well, unless they’re a recluse and their entire family are dead or gone from their lives.  Suffice it to say, “I’d like to keep the drama to a minimum” and, rest assured, everyone is on the same page. So, stop penning that because you’re wasting space from writing things that others may not know.

Now, can we discuss photos?  I don’t think anyone cares to see the chronology of your aging.  STOP posting photos from high school!  Here’s another tip: If you need to scan in a photo because you don’t have the digital version, it’s probably too old to post, in the first place.  Unless you have a time machine to accompany those old ass photos, STOP!  I cannot go back in time to meet the woman who looked like that photo from 1992, so give up the ghost and move forward.

And, for the love of technology, stop posting blurry photos. What is the point?  Seriously!  And, while you’re looking for a clear photo to post, make sure it’s rotated accordingly. Again, technology … rotate the photo so your head is north, not west or east.

The fifth element is … be honest and write something more than “if you have any questions, just ask.”  What matters to you should matter to the other person.  If nothing matters to you, you cannot be from Planet Earth.

An example of what might matter:

Although I am Agnostic in the realm of religion, I respect others’ beliefs … so long as they don’t push them on to other people.  I also enjoy any holiday celebration, ’cause I love good food and good company.

Here’s another:

I like almost all kinds of music, but my affinity is towards modern, upbeat & funky Jazz.  And, though I’m not a huge fan of Country music, I’d attend a concert, if asked, for the sake of the company, atmosphere & entertainment; I just wouldn’t buy a ticket for myself like I would for a genre I prefer.

But, weight, there’s more! I cannot help that guys lie about their body type. But, don’t stoop to their level, please.  I would love for these sites to have “athlerage” in the choices; it’s where I land (in shape to ride a bicycle 20 miles at a fast clip, go to the gym thrice a week, but not buff, ripped or otherwise obviously labeled a “gym rat”).  I am beyond the beyond of impatience for heavy people stating they are “average.”  It’s not “average American [who is borderline stage 1 diabetic”]!  It’s the average between athletic and a few extra pounds.

Finally, ask yourself if you’re really ready to date.  I can help you, here.  If you can answer “yes” to these questions, you need to stay away from [on-line] dating and find yourself, again:

  • Have I just finalized my divorce or break-up in the past six months?
  • Would I take back some [recent] guy in the past, if given the chance right now?
  • Am I [still] bitter about my divorce or recent break-up?
  • Are there any triggers my date might do that will make me think of my ex?

 

I truly wish everyone only the best in their search.  But, unless & until both parties are completely honest from the get-go, it’s not going to happen.

 

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